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|   |  |  | | Dirt Makes You Healthy |  |  |  |  | found on The New York Times (Registration Required) written by tomc, edited by John (Plastic) [ read unedited ] posted Thu 19 Sep 1:07pm |  |  |  |  | 
 | "New research shows that children brought up in homes that are not very clean have a reduced incidence of asthma. Just one more study that suggests our abhorrance of germs directly contributes to our susceptibility to them," tomc writes. "Is our clean-freak culture becoming our own worst enemy? Is this a siren-call for a more natural lifestyle? Or is this all a conspiracy fomented by those who don't like to wash their hands?"
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| |  |  |  |  | | 1. Is there a big incidence of asthma in Japan? |  | | | by rombuu |  | | | at Thu 19 Sep 1:17pm | score of 1.5 astute |  |  | | |  | |
I mean, they are clean freaks that would put the US to shame usually, and I've never heard about this great tide of asthma overrunning them.
Just an idea at least....
http://drlunch.com The site that helps you decide where to go to lunch!
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|  |  |  |  | | 4. No, And Here's A Theory Why |  | | | by cloudofdust |  | | | at Thu 19 Sep 1:34pm | score of 2.5 informative | | in reply to comment 1 |  | | |  | |
Lifted from some website:
In Japan, the omega-6:omega-3 ratio in the typical diet there is about 4:1, several-fold better than the US (3). One epidemiological study found that the childhood asthma rate in Tokyo is 0.7% as compared to a worldwide average of roughly 5% (4).
And there are confounding factors that could contribute to higher childhood asthma rates in Japan. For example, because a greater percentage of Japanese live in urban settings, the average air quality they are exposed to is lower. In addition, smoking is much more prevalent in Japan, which means more second-hand smoke exposure for children.
Several studies support the assertion that greater consumption of oily fish, which contain high amounts of n-3, may protect against childhood asthma and can improve lung function (5,6). So apparently you should feed your kids dirty fish.
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 |  |  |  | | 37. Re: Not according to my calcs-- check my math! |  | | | by Cinderella |  | | | at Fri 20 Sep 10:13am | score of 1 | | in reply to comment 1 |  | | |  | |
Rombuu--
Here's a few stats I got off ye ole Internet.
* American's with asthma: 14.6 million (1)
* American population, 2000: 281,421,906 (2)
* Rate per 100,000: 5188 (did I do that right?)
* Japanese asthma rate, per 100K: 126 (3)
Therefore, the American rate is... this can't be right-- 41 times the Japanese rate?? So much for the clean freak theory.
-- Cinderella
A psychologist is just a voyeurist with a degree.
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 |  |  |  | | 46. Re: Is there a big incidence of asthma in Japan? |  | | | by Leotrotsky |  | | | at Sat 21 Sep 1:59pm | score of 1 | | in reply to comment 1 |  | | |  | |
Yeah, but I'd imagine a lot of what we perceive as Japanese dirt aversion actually derives from a tradition of Shinto.
There's a big division there between UCHI (inside) such as the home and SOTO (outside) which is everything else. Everything SOTO is also dirty, full of KE (a kind of spiritual dirt which builds up on you over time). Much of Shinto ceremony centers around clearing off all of this KE which can turn you from HARE (clear) to KEGARE (dirty)
Now, If I approached the world this way, I'd be wearing a surgical mask outside, too. -A
"Tell all the Truth but tell it slant- Success in Circuit lies; The truth must dazzle gradually - or ever Man be blind."
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|  |  |  |  | | 2. Arrrr!!! |  | | | by JET24 |  | | | at Thu 19 Sep 1:23pm | score of 1.5 succinct |  |  | | |  | |
I be livin' me whole life in filth wit out so much as a hint o' the asthma. Me thinks a daily shot of rum for the little kiddies in America would help 'em know what not breathin' really feels like!
Religion don't mean a thing; it's just another way to be right. - Spoon
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|  |  |  |  | | 9. Re: Arrrr!!! |  | | | by Tashtego |  | | | at Thu 19 Sep 2:26pm | score of 2 helpful | | in reply to comment 7 |  | | |  | |
What's the point, really? So you're in the restroom and you diligently wash your hands. What's the very next thing you touch? Bingo, that disgustingly filthy doorknob that's been touched by all those disgusting people who don't wash their hands.
All you have to do is follow this little procedure:
1. Enter restroom by opening the door with ass.
2. Turn on water (step 2 can serve a dual purpose for those who suffer from stage fright).
3. Do your business - flush using foot (jiu jitsu training comes in handy here).
4. Soap hands.
5. Wash and rinse using running faucet from step 2.
6. Dry with paper towels - use same towel to turn off water and open door for exit.
7. If paper towels aren't available (e.g. in restrooms equipped with those accursed hand dryers) then you'll have to leave the water running and wait for someone to open the door for you.
Now if you'll excuse me, I just have to go change my pajamas and get back to bed. My Mormon valet is just about to start the afternoon showing of Ice Station Zebra.
Liberals apparently make huge sweeping generalizations without one iota of evidence to back them up.
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 |  |  |  | | 11. A conspiracy for sure |  | | | by tomc |  | | | at Thu 19 Sep 3:39pm | score of 1.5 compelling | | in reply to comment 7 |  | | |  | |
I never worried about buying foodstuffs from bins until ONE DAY when I was at the Jelly Belly factory.
Here's this guy playing with his pecker in the restroom. He leaves without washing his hands. The next thing I see him ignoring the little silver shovel and stuffing his hand into a bin of blueberry jelly beans.
Fortunately I don't like blueberry. And while I have asthma, I suppose this guy doesn't.
Ever since then I've never bought any food from a bin.
ham sandwich
No Pussyfooting
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 |  |  |  | | 40. Re: Arrrr!!! |  | | | by gparizot |  | | | at Fri 20 Sep 11:51am | score of 1 | | in reply to comment 7 |  | | |  | |
OOOHHHH! One of my many pet peeves! Even here at work, where I work with high paid, college educated professionals, I see many a man take a leak (well, I'm not watching directly), and then just walk out of the restroom without washing his hands. Are women this disgusting, Sue?
I've trained my kids to open the public restroom doors with paper towels, and have them more freaked out than Howard Hughes that they might get germs from touching something (we're not into the boxes of Kleenex on the feet yet, but it's close).
Asthma or no, some modicum of cleanliness and consideration for others would be nice. The next person to touch that door handle might just be me.
"Just 'cause you feel it doesn't mean it's there" - Radiohead
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 |  |  |  | | 13. void reply(arg) |  | | | by Richard Banks |  | | | at Thu 19 Sep 4:07pm | score of 1 | | in reply to comment 11 |  | | |  | |
I always favored the dry, sugar-dusted gummies better than the oily ones for that very reason. Those greasy little gummi worms look too much like the plastic anise-smelling ones you fish with. Look and feel is everything, in food. That, and smell. What's that word they bandy about the chat rooms? ewww?
But I prefer those cellophane-wrapped Kraft® caramels and foil-wrapped Hershey® kisses any day.
"I'm Against This War. But I'm not with These Other People."
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 |  |  |  | | 15. Re: Arrrr!!! |  | | | by Anonymouse Savant |  | | | at Thu 19 Sep 4:57pm | score of 1 | | in reply to comment 9 |  | | |  | |
I've seen it with my own eyes, almost exactly like you described. Even better, it was a $400/hour lawyer in a crowded hotel bathroom during a break in a seminar. Better yet, I recognized the person in question as the boss of one of my best friends.
I chuckled (when I didn't giggle) for days afterwards. Still LOL now that you reminded me.
Little girls, like butterflies, need no excuses. (R. Heinlein)
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|  |  |  |  | | 5. Filth beats antibacterials, every time... |  | | | by holgate |  | | | at Thu 19 Sep 1:34pm | score of 3.5 astute |  |  | | |  | |
This ties in with the study that children develop fewer allergies if they're exposed to cats or dogs in their first couple of years of life. And with the scary stories of 'superbugs' that aren't just confined to over-sterilised hospitals, but also spreading to American homes. The cult of the 'antibacterial' in the USA, motivated by the belief that All Germs Are Bad, and more germ-killing is better, is likely to lay the groundwork for all sorts of immune system deficiencies in the years to come. It's a real point of contention between myself and my fiancée: she, an American with a possessive mother, has a pathological aversion to the idea of dirt; by contrast, I grew up playing in mud.
This isn't to say that the way ahead is crusty to the point of living in a treehouse and renaming yourself Dig. It's simply that antibacterials have no fucking place in an ordinary home, apart from perhaps in a First Aid kit. Soap, my friends, is the way ahead. Regular soap. The spirit of Dr Bronner thanks you.
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|  |  |  |  | | 19. Re: Filth beats antibacterials, every time... |  | | | by Anonymous Idiot |  | | | at Thu 19 Sep 6:08pm | score of 0.5 funny | | in reply to comment 5 |  | | |  | |
Holgate, I agree completely with you regarding the overuse of antibacterials; but Christ, can't you even refrain from your incessant US-bashing in a story about freakin' germs? How can your fiancee stand it?
(unless...could she be...Susan Sontag?!?!)
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 |  |  |  | | 24. Re: Filth beats antibacterials, every time... |  | | | by holgate |  | | | at Fri 20 Sep 5:56am | score of 1 | | in reply to comment 19 |  | | |  | |
Christ, can't you even refrain from your incessant US-bashing in a story about freakin' germs?
It's not 'bashing', Mr AI: it's simply point-of-fucking-comparison. If you want me to provide a little bit of balance, I'll expand with some rationale, though you may not like it. Because of the high up-front costs of healthcare in the USA, I think there's more of a culture of self-medication in certain respects; there's also more leeway in over-the-counter sales at pharmacies. Which means that the US is really great for buying things to take home for a first aid kit (NeoSporin, antibacterial Band-Aids etc.) but that desire to avoid a trip to the doctor manifests itself in all sorts of antibacterial household goods. Combine that with the hard sell on TV commercials, and you have the makings of a potential epidemic.
How can your fiancee stand it?
Well, I've coped with her obsessive fear of 'icky' germs for years, so it's give-and-take. (Really, it's not bashing: if you want 'bashing', read Bill Bryson at times.)
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 |  |  |  | | 35. Re: Filth beats antibacterials, every time... |  | | | by gordie |  | | | at Fri 20 Sep 9:48am | score of 1 | | in reply to comment 24 |  | | |  | |
If you have ever been in a pristine tile-covered Italian washroom, you know that obsessive "germ-killing" in the home isn't only an American thing. Hell, Italians invented that useless steam-shooter appliance thingy that does absolutely nothing.
On the other hand, Italians invented it, but Americans turned it into a best-seller[grin].
Dead is the drunkest that you can get.
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 |  |  |  | | 30. Re: Filth beats antibacterials, every time... |  | | | by katieo |  | | | at Fri 20 Sep 8:09am | score of 1 | | in reply to comment 5 |  | | |  | |
Come on now, didn't we just see the post about how Japan has higher rates of childhood asthma than any other country? If there's a place we can legitimately call the home of the anti-bacterial cult, that would be it - half the population wears gloves, and a frightening number wear masks. Still, you go out of your way to describe it as an American neurosis...
That said, of course, I agree with you. I had an extremely severe cat allergy when I was young (my parents were dog people), to the point that if there had been a cat in the room recently I had to leave. In college, though, one of my roommates had a cat, and I just eventually seemed to get over it. Now I can handle and play with them just as I would any other animal. Same deal with a roommate who was lactose intolerant; her sister reacted poorly to milk as a baby so she stopped drinking it, and by the time she was in college she couldn't have any dairy at all.
I know there's a genetic component to this - particularly lactose intolerance - but on the whole I do believe lack of exposure promotes allergies and eventually, asthma.
Kids, you've tried and you've failed. The lesson is: never try.
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 |  |  |  | | 36. Re: Filth beats antibacterials, every time... |  | | | by holgate |  | | | at Fri 20 Sep 10:04am | score of 1 | | in reply to comment 30 |  | | |  | |
Come on now, didn't we just see the post about how Japan has higher rates of childhood asthma than any other country? If there's a place we can legitimately call the home of the anti-bacterial cult, that would be it - half the population wears gloves, and a frightening number wear masks. Still, you go out of your way to describe it as an American neurosis...
I take your point completely: but for me to talk about the Japanese experience would be hearsay, whereas I've had plenty of experience of the Triclosan-Everywhere USA. But yes, it's not a uniquely American phenomenon.
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 |  |  |  | | 31. Re: Filth beats antibacterials, every time... |  | | | by thinmac |  | | | at Fri 20 Sep 8:21am | score of 1 | | in reply to comment 5 |  | | |  | |
Unfortunately, while this is true, most people disagree with it, including the doctors who help design 'antibacterial' products (I really, really hope that they have doctors who help with this, although now that I think about it I kind of doubt it). If you visit your local grocery store and go to the hand soap isle, a little reading will show you that every single one of the products there use the same antimicrobal, a chemical called triclosan. Considering it's a pesticide, it's enough of a worry that children and adults put it on their hands every day, but we also use it in dish soap (try finding one with a different antibacterial agent, I dare you), detergent for our clothes, and even toothpaste.
My biggest worry, though, is something I found on the web a few years ago (I can't find the link, if anyone else has it, it would be great). Apparently the way that triclosan effects the little buggers is that it impedes their ability to make lipids, which are used for (among other things) the phospho-lipid bilayer that makes up the skin of the cell. Many biologists seem to think this is such a fundamental cellular need that cells cannot find a way around it, which would make triclosan some kind of super antimichrobal that even evolution cannot stop. Not only is that complete garbage, but studies in research labs across the country have actually developed (and then destroyed) triclosan immune strains of bacteria. So, there's a strong and misguided opinion among some biologists that this is an antibacterial silver bullet, which means it will be a lot harder to convince anyone to use anything else.
Personally, I never use the stuff, except as a nasty detergent for cleaning the floor around the catbox from time to time. It's getting really hard to find anything else, though...
Narrative
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|  |  |  |  | | 6. pollution |  | | | by Jedi Paramedic |  | | | at Thu 19 Sep 1:37pm | score of 2 witty |  |  | | |  | |
As I recall, another correlative study was done some time ago showing that children in the South Bronx had the highest incidence of asthma in the United States, if not the free world.
From the article: The new study, led by Dr. Charlotte Braun-Fahrländer of the Institute of Social and Preventive Medicine in Basel, Switzerland, found that farm children were less prone to allergies and asthma than nonfarm children. It also found that the more the children were exposed to a certain bacterial component, the less likely they were to have allergies. They seem to be pinning an awful lot of importance on the bacteria in manure and such... Considering what we have observed about the effects of pollution on the rates of pediatric asthma incidence (and severity) and making the assumption that most farmland is not located in the urban centers of the world...
Is the study saying much more than that kids in areas not exposed to pollution have lower incidences of asthma?
Just doing my job of being a skeptic ;)
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| |  |  |  |  | | 8. Dirt be a pirate's best matey |  | | | by geena davis |  | | | at Thu 19 Sep 2:06pm | score of 1.5 funny |  |  | | |  | |
Arrrghh! This be why we swill down our weevilly ship's biscuits with bilge-water from swabbin' yon poop deck! Arrgh!
(God on a Stick! I got a ZERO Flesch score for that psychotic utterance! aarrrggghh!)
there be booty on the high seas!
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| |  |  |  |  | | 12. irony |  | | | by Caffeine |  | | | at Thu 19 Sep 3:55pm | score of 1.5 funny |  |  | | |  | |
Note that this article directly follows the one about a baby in California getting a lifetime of carcinogens in two weeks. Surely this will be the unstoppable alergy-free child of the future!
/* I will show you fear in a handful of jellybeans
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| |  |  |  |  | | 20. Newsflash: This isn't news. |  | | | by TheMCP |  | | | at Thu 19 Sep 10:25pm | score of 1 |  |  | | |  | |
I saw a documentary on PBS about a year ago, talking with German researchers who had determined the correlation between children regularly exposed to farm animals and lower incidence of asthma. I think their research was 10 or more years old already.
End of line.
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|  |  |  |  | | 21. i just love washing my hands |  | | | by totogone |  | | | at Fri 20 Sep 3:54am | score of 0.5 incoherent |  |  | | |  | |
i enjoy musing at Polya's,without caring who and what i would become--a professor in a famous university full of fools,or a no-mind wife in a kitchen with the lovely fresh meat around.(both not easy,the first depends on is there really such a university offering such generosity to those in trouble;the latter depends on is there a person(oh,my GOD)who would like to merry me) ,however,i enjoy,with the help of a beautifully played tunes and a cup of tea.
i like it so much,so much,that i can even compare it to the joy with washing my hands--i marvel at the water flowing--easy and natural,as for the dirt--oh,let it do whatever it like,as for my future, let it be whatever it would be.
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|  |  |  |  | | 23. Germ Supplements |  | | | by eeksypeeksy |  | | | at Fri 20 Sep 5:20am | score of 1 |  |  | | |  | |
I suppose clean freaks could have it both ways by remaining generally clean but ingesting factory-controlled germ supplements with their vitamins. They would get the germs without having to eat the actual shit particles or whatever.
(Still, nothing beats shoveling horse shit in your bare feet, though I can't say for sure that it helped my immune system to develop properly.)
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|  |  |  |  | | 25. Allergies are probably a mix... |  | | | by borkus |  | | | at Fri 20 Sep 7:06am | score of 1 |  |  | | |  | |
...of genetic predisposition and environment.
from the article -
Researchers say they still do not understand allergies and asthma well enough to make such recommendations. More than 25 genes may play a role, and some families have such a strong genetic tendency to allergies that, as one researcher said, not even living in a barn would protect them.
A friend of mine's son has had allergies since birth. I can remember him being susceptible to hives as an infant ( around 6 months). He's now a rambunctious five year old, who plays tee ball. However, he uses a nebulizer twice a day to control his asthma. His dad had to take the carpet out of his room and put down a wood floor to cut down on allergens.
In the case of this little boy, I'd suspect that genetics has played a bigger role than environment - both of his parents have allergies. On the up side, if the boy takes after his dad, he should grow out of the worst of them by high school.
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|  |  |  |  | | 26. It's just basic immunology |  | | | by bigfatlamer |  | | | at Fri 20 Sep 7:13am | score of 1 |  |  | | |  | |
The more allergens/immunogens you are exposed to as an infant/child, the more tolerant you will be to those allergens/immunogens as an adult.
FWIW, this is also an argument for making sure that otherwise healthy babies get held by as many (healthy) adults as possible. Not only does it help to socialize them and avoid separation and stranger anxiety but it also helps them be healthier in the long run.
bfl
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|  |  |  |  | | 27. Awesome! |  | | | by MandaX |  | | | at Fri 20 Sep 7:36am | score of 1.5 witty |  |  | | |  | |
My kid is going to have the lungs of a marathon runner.
I would add the caveat that there's good dirtiness (i.e. actual dirt, exposure to pets and so on), which seems protective, and bad dirtiness (i.e. cockroaches, secondhand smoke), which actually increases the likelihood of asthma. Choose your filth wisely.
I think we're going crazy, things don't even faze me.
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|  |  |  |  | | 28. This explains it... |  | | | by geekybob |  | | | at Fri 20 Sep 7:56am | score of 1 |  |  | | |  | |
By most standards, including my own, my parents were slobs.
We lived in a fairly nice house, but it was far from clean. It got vacuumed once a month or so, and the kitchen floor washed no more often than that. Books and magazines covered every flat surface. (We were literate slobs, at least).
And today, neither my three sisters nor I are allergic to anything. Pollen, dust, foods, medications... nothing.
However, our houses are much cleaner than the one we grew up in, so I wonder if our children will share our relatively robust immunity.
I'm not a Democrat, I'm a liberal. Democrats go to meetings.
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| | |  |  |  |  | | 32. Got Worms? |  | | | by BatGuano |  | | | at Fri 20 Sep 8:23am | score of 1.5 helpful |  |  | | |  | |
This spring I passed out due to a sudden and quite surprising massive amount of intestinal bleeding. Doctors told me that I have Crohn's Disease, and have had it for about a decade. I thought it was just bad diet that lead to my cranky guts.
Anyway, I've been reading a lot about the disease, and have found that Helminthic therapy has cleared-up Crohn's in test subjects. This was just temporary remission, but if one could keep up this treatment, do it about once every few months, then that remission should keep on remissin'.
The treatment involves the ingestion of worms. Pig worms were used in the experiments. We know that Crohn's is caused by the immune system attacking spots on the intestinal wall. Give them something they were meant to attack, like all the parasites that our cave men grandfathers ate, and the Crohn's goes away.
Crohn's was rare, very rare, but has become common in the past 50 years or so. A lot of signs point to the basic Western diet taking over the world, but could it be just better food processing? It use to be thought of as a Jewish disease -- hmmm, maybe because Jews avoided the pork which was likely to be a bit infested at the turn of the 20th century?
your radio friend, Bat Guano
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|  |  |  |  | | 34. Good week for negligent Mom's |  | | | by bright |  | | | at Fri 20 Sep 8:27am | score of 1 |  |  | | |  | |
As a shamefully lackadaisical Mom by the standards of my time, I rejoice in two news stories indicating I may have inadvertently done the right thing by my kids. Not only have dust bunnies been indicated as beneficial, but a New Zealand study negates the La Leche League manifesto that breastfeeding counters allergies.
This redeeming news greeted me this morning with my St. Louis Post-Dispatch and coffee:
BRITAIN
Research challenges theory on breast-feeding
Breast-feeding does not seem to protect children against allergies and asthma, according to a study published today in the British medical journal The Lancet. The study challenges one of many reasons why breast is said to be better than bottle.
The study followed about 1,000 New Zealand children from birth until they were 26 and found that those who had been breast-fed were more likely to suffer years later from asthma and such common allergies as hayfever.
"The bottom line is: Don't stop breast-feeding; just understand there is something here we need to explore further," said Dr. Malcolm R. Sears of McMaster University in Ontario, the study's lead author.
HEALTH & SCIENCE
At long last--justification for my slovenly ways!
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|  |  |  |  | | 38. Case in point. |  | | | by justapunk |  | | | at Fri 20 Sep 11:35am | score of 1 |  |  | | |  | |
I have noticed that my five years in the dirty and germ-ridden Caribbean has given me the ability to stay healthy even while EVERYONE around me comes down with the latest cold/flu bug to hit my area. Didn't help my allergy situation, however.
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|  |  |  |  | | 43. Re: Case in point. |  | | | by Lykopis |  | | | at Fri 20 Sep 9:14pm | score of 1 | | in reply to comment 38 |  | | |  | |
I also seem to never, ever get sick. I believe it is in part because I grew up in Africa and my parents made sure to take me frequently into the bush.
Sadly, on the flip side, I seem to be allergic to cats, and a number of flowers and grasses in New England.
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|  |  |  |  | | 39. I am reminded of a poem... |  | | | by blueflower |  | | | at Fri 20 Sep 11:43am | score of 1 |  |  | | |  | |
The antiseptic baby and the prophylactic pup
Were playing in the garden when the bunny gamboled up
They looked upon this creature with loathing undisguised
He wasn't disinfected and he wasn't sterilized
They said he was a microbe and a hotbed of disease
They steamed him in a vapor of a thousand odd degrees
They froze him in a freezer as cold as banished hope
And washed him in permanganate with carbolated soap
Into sulphurated hydrogen they steeped his wiggly ears
And trimmed his frisky whiskers with a pair of hardboiled shears
Then they donned their rubber mittens and took him by the hand
And elected him a member of the fumigated band
There's not a micrococcus in the garden where they play
And they bathe in pure iodoform a dozen times a day
And each imbibes his rations from a hygienic cup
The bunny and the baby and the prophylactic pup.
Gotta love that "Best Loved Poems of the American People" anthology, eh?
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|  |  |  |  | | 45. Wonder if it has to do with HOW we clean . .. |  | | | by Kope |  | | | at Sat 21 Sep 10:17am | score of 1 |  |  | | |  | |
I mean .. .have you SEEN the ingredient lists on some of these cleaners? We've moved a long way from the era of amonia in a bucket.
And maybe all those chemicals being sprayed around from aerosol cans just MIGHT not be all that good for developing lungs to inhale.
Cleanliness is probably NOT the issue. Chemical pollutions in the home would be a far more likely guess in my not so humble oppinion. Of course, the correlation between chemical pollution in the home environment and cleanliness should be high since that is probably the number one vector for putting the chemicals in the home ... except maybe for all the convinience foods . . .
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|  |  |  |  | | 49. Okay, I can't resist |  | | | by tomc |  | | | at Sun 22 Sep 8:04pm | score of 1 |  |  | | |  | |
A friend just emailed me this joke...
A very attractive woman goes up to the bar. She gestures alluringly to the bartender who comes over immediately. When he arrives, she seductively signals that he should bring his face closer to hers. When he does, she begins to gently caress his face.
"Are you the manager?" she asks, softly stroking his face with both hands.
"Actually, no," the man replied.
"Can you get him for me? I need to speak to him," she says, running her hands beyond his face and into his hair.
"I'm afraid I can't," breathes the bartender. "Is there anything I can do?"
"Yes, there is. I need you to give him a message," she continues, running her forefinger across the bartender's lips and slyly popping a couple of her fingers into his mouth and allowing him to suck them gently.
"What should I tell him?" the bartender manages to say.
"Tell him," she breathlessly whispers, "there's no toilet paper, hand soap, or paper towels in the ladies room."
ham sandwich
No Pussyfooting
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