GI Joe, American Hero No More — Airport Staff Disarm Toy
	found on: The Scotsman written by wrestler, edited by John (Plastic) [ read unedited ] posted Tue 6 Aug 6:32am
		"As if more evidence were needed that terrorism hysteria has reached a fever pitch, Los Angeles Airport security staff confiscated a TWO-INCH plastic gun from a toy soldier. 'Then they asked me if there were toy grenades as well. I thought they were joking, but they weren't smiling - they were deadly serious.' Obviously, this is a futile effort by security officers, since GI Joe only needs his lethal kung-fu grip to topple his foes," wrestler writes. However, this isn't GI Joe's first encounter with dastardly airport security forces. "But seriously, folks, doesn't it scare you that zero-tolerance translates into zero-thinking by lots of scary big people with big real guns in control of our airports?"

[ more plastic... ]    

show almost all: 19 commentsbest: 3 comments by oldest first (ignore threads) newest first highest scores first oldest first newest first (ignore threads)

1.  Gi Joe Must Be Disarmed   by 72beetle       at Tue 6 Aug 6:44am score of 2.5 brilliant     When I was about 6 years old, I almost choked to death on a GI JOE knife. This near-lethal device was gray, about an inch long, and sported a razor-sharp soft plastic blade. Thank god for airport security keeping an eye out for such heinous weapons, I can just see a terrorist forcing one of these death-dealers down the throat of some unsuspecting pilot, making him cough and spill his scotch & soda. Countless tragedies have been averted. God bless America! -72 -Those who dance are considered insane by those who can't hear the music.   [ ...reply just to this | comment on the story... | next new ]

2.  Of course they confiscated that gun.   by MAYORBOB       at Tue 6 Aug 6:58am score of 1     You never know who is booked aboard First Class that they're trying to protect. When this was first submitted to the queue, I noticed that it was linked to The Sun. My immediate reaction was, "bullshit, nobody could possibly be that stupid." Even though this is a story connected to the airlines, it would seem to be such an unmitigated act of brainlessness that it properly belongs in "Dumb". Tending to final details.   [ ...reply just to this | comment on the story... | next new ]

5.  I'm with you, MAYORBOB   by ddp42       at Tue 6 Aug 7:32am score of 1 astute   in reply to comment 2     I keep expecting tales like this to resurface as urban legends. Truth is indeed stranger than fiction - also scarier and more depressing. Not all flowers open in the morning.   [ ...reply just to this | comment on the story... | next new ]

3.  Follow Rules to Letter and Don't Assume Anything!   by Philosawyer       at Tue 6 Aug 7:11am score of 1     A spokesman for Los Angeles International Airport said: "We have instructions to confiscate anything that looks like a weapon or a replica." "If GI Joe was carrying a replica then it had to be taken from him." Apparently another necessary casualty in the War on Terrorism is the application of common sense. Obviously the guidelines are intended to include replica's that might be mistaken for the real thing. (All too many times, children have been shot when carrying a toy gun mistaken for the real thing - see e.g. a www.warresisters.org link). I suspect that the officials at the airport are doing exactly what they have been told - No exceptions to be made. Perhaps they will amend the rules to exclude tiny plastic replicas less than 2 inches long that could not possibly be mistaken for the real thing. But such a standard would require a little bit of thinking and we all know that human error is the number one friend to terrorism. In the mean time, travelers should check in baggage everything that might remotely look like a weapon no matter how ridiculous. The marketing division of the Sirius Cybernetics Corporation defines a robot as "Your plastic pal who's fun to be with."   [ ...reply just to this | comment on the story... | next new ]

4.  In the name of all that is holy,   by superstringtheory       at Tue 6 Aug 7:24am score of 2 clever     Please do not take ANY toy away from a child that is on the same flight as me. What good is GI Joe without all his nifty weapons? He's clearly only half a man then. My thought is, if a plastic gun is too hard core and a problem for security (they must feel SO proud) then they should have an decent Nerf (tm)product counter-toy for exchange. For the justice of sanity to prevail. I'm not exactly sure what is to be feared from the kid having it: Passengers being freaked out? Or the child poking his eye out if the plane has a bout of turbulence... "What if this is as good as it gets?" - Melvin Udall   [ ...reply just to this | comment on the story... | next new ]

6.  This is exactly the problem with airport security.   by DeaconDoWrong       at Tue 6 Aug 7:43am score of 5 novel     Why should we be searching the real american heroes when we should be singling out all the swarthy males and individuals with known history of terrorism. I mean, you can tell from a mile away who's a threat and who's not. I mean, I'm not advocating racial profiling; I strongly believe in the equality of all races, genders, nationalities and sexual preferences. But I've been in the airport and seen people clearly on our side get strip searched, while some slightly or extremely suspicious individuals went straight through. (Some I really suspect were even carrying some kind of chemical weapon) Just know who the enemy is, since after all, knowing is half the battle.   [ ...reply just to this | comment on the story... | next new ]

7.  *smacks forehead*   by Tessera       at Tue 6 Aug 8:08am score of 1   in reply to comment 6     This is exactly why I should always, always follow the links before replying. I was already about halfway through a snarky reply before my "being-a-dumbass" sensor went off. It's a testament, I suppose, to your satirical abilities that it went completely under my radar. It's also possible, of course, that I'm just a complete idiot, but...   [ ...reply just to this | comment on the story... | next new ]   15.  Re: This is exactly the problem with airport   by AshbyMan       at Tue 6 Aug 12:57pm score of 1   in reply to comment 6     Great post. I am having such a childhood flashback right now. (Though the website is kind of terrifying dont you think?) There was no greater toy in the mid to late 80's than GI Joes, and no greater illegal accessory than the tiny refrigerator repair screwdriver (which we purloined from a friend's dad) which allowed us to remove the screw from the back of each figure and mix and match heads, limbs and torsos, though now I discover doing so might destroy their "mint in bag value." Knowing is, indeed, half the battle. "Without Music, Life Would Be An Error" Nietzsche   [ ...reply just to this | comment on the story... | next new ]

8.  That's Not As Bad As The Time They Confiscated...   by Wolfetone       at Tue 6 Aug 8:23am score of 1     ...nail clippers from a federal agent who was carrying a gun onto the plane. Now that was stupid!   [ ...reply just to this | comment on the story... | next new ]

16.  Re: That's Not As Bad As The Time They   by nowimnothing22       at Wed 7 Aug 4:21am score of 1   in reply to comment 8     You sure about that one, Wolfetone? Can we get a link? I've flown dozens of times post 9/11 and nail clippers have never been a problem, and they ARE on the list as allowed and acceptable items to bring on the plane with you. Even if they have that little 3/4inch slightly sharp blade/file thing under it. But come on, think about it, your chances of killing someone with a pair of nail clippers is pretty low. Sure, you could probably put a few holes into them, maybe even draw a good amount of blood, but it might take quite a while to actually kill someone with them ;P nowimnothing   [ ...reply just to this | comment on the story... | next new ]   17.  Re: That's Not As Bad As The Time They   by Wolfetone       at Wed 7 Aug 7:50am score of 1   in reply to comment 16     I will have too search for the link. As to the nail clippers, I can personally testify that they were confiscating them in the first few months after 9/11.   [ ...reply just to this | comment on the story... | next new ]   19.  Re: That's Not As Bad As The Time They   by nowimnothing22       at Wed 7 Aug 11:22am score of 1   in reply to comment 17     You very well might be correct, I didn't do any airline travel for a few months after 9/11, as my company didn't really have anywhere that they needed me to be, my first plane trip post 9/11 was early april of this year, and I guess they decided nail clippers were fine and good by then ;) nowimnothing   [ ...reply just to this | comment on the story... | next new ]

9.  Woohoo!   by arcanis       at Tue 6 Aug 8:30am score of 1     This is great! Maybe we'll get to watch a competition of sorts as the airport security crews try to outdo each other by getting progressively more anal. Run of out real weapons to confiscate? Start confiscating toys! Run out of toys? Start confiscating common items that can be used as weapons! Ballpoint pens! Shoes! Maybe once they get tired of the little game of "Confiscate whatever makes you feel important" at the gate, they'll start throwing people in jail for having the audacity to carry a G.I. Joe or a ballpoint pen. Then, the best part, see... Once the administration drops the airport security kick in a year or so, the lawsuits will still be going! We'll get to watch the legal fallout for years! Hours of televised fun for the whole family!   [ ...reply just to this | comment on the story... | next new ]

11.  Geesh...   by Bartholomew Roberts       at Tue 6 Aug 9:33am score of 1     Well, we can't really afford to pay you a significant salary; but we could federalize your job and put the full authority of the United States government behind whatever crackpot decisions you wish to foist off onto passengers. Would that do instead? Metus improbos compescit, non clementia   [ ...reply just to this | comment on the story... | next new ]

12.  Plagerism or Homage: A Meta-Comment   by wrestler       at Tue 6 Aug 9:52am score of 1     I stole the headline directly from The Scotsman article. The lead sentence comes from the MetaFilter writeup. The quote comes from an unlinked Sun story. The kung-fu grip comment was made by MetaFilter user tittergrrl. The zero-tolerance/zero-thinking line comes from a Fark comment on the same story. I guess I could have made all of these attributions directly in the writeup, but it sure would have been cluttered. Or I could have spent the time to make the writeup original, but I'm not that clever. Is this kosher?   [ ...reply just to this | comment on the story... | next new ]

13.  Of course it is.   by JKConsult       at Tue 6 Aug 10:16am score of 1   in reply to comment 12     If you read the comments in the Sub-Q and in stories about the DMCA, you would realize that we have no problem with intellectual property "borrowing." With or without attribution, by the way.   [ ...reply just to this | comment on the story... | next new ]

14.  If I was GI Joe,   by bitter_engineer       at Tue 6 Aug 11:02am score of 1     I'd say that LAX security has lost half the battle. This isn't new to them, by the way. About a month ago, planes were grounded for two hours when a would-be traveller was found to be wearing a belt buckle emblazoned with an image of an exploding stick of dynamite. Non estat prandium gratuitum   [ ...reply just to this | comment on the story... | next new ]

18.  a weapon is a weapon   by kai       at Wed 7 Aug 9:53am score of 1     If this happens to you, it is your duty as a vigilant citizen and airport traveler to tell the security agent that while you were waiting in line that you saw a little boy playing with a Xena Warrior Princess action figure(which, incidentally, had a very dangerous looking 3 inch plastic sword). The boy has already cleared security and is unaccounted for. Since toy weapons are a security threat, they would have no choice but to close the terminal and rescreen all of the passengers. The news channels pick up on the terminal closing and do their usual cover-the-ongoing-live-story-even-though-they-don't-have-any-facts-yet and throw out lots of unsubstantiated reports. Once it gets out that the terminal was closed over a 3 inch Xena Warrior Princess doll, they'll actually have a real story. I guarantee that no one else would ever have a problem clearing security with toys that obviously were never intended to be included. Either that or pull out your video camera and get the whole situation on tape personally and mail it all the news stations everywhere. Just don't let them confiscate the camera and it would be worth it to miss your flight. 15 minutes of fame easily. I fly a lot more than the average person, and I honestly can't tell if the situation is getting better or worse. I often buy 1 way tickets, which means that inevitably I have to go through more security procedures. Most of the time they go through the motions, but if I did have something dangerous, security people are so zoned out that they probably wouldn't even notice anyways. I feel especially sorry for teenage girls just hitting puberty. On several occasions, I've been with 20 or more people at the gate waiting to get screened when some poor 14 year old girl gets everything in her backpack pulled out in full view of everyone. When the tampons come out, usually they just get red in the face and avoid eye contact. But when condoms and birth control pills get pulled out, that's just not right. One time, the girl's father didn't even know she was on BC. I'm sorry to say it, but that time I was pretty glad I got picked to go through security. I would have hated to have missed that encounter. I'm sure you have seen the way they do the searches. The way they hold everything up when inspecting it is pretty messed up too. They couldn't make sure everyone got a better view of a person's crap unless they walked around the whole area letting everyone get a totally up close and unobstructed view. Sorry that was long, but airport security is a joke nowadays. It causes delays, missed flights, embarrassment, and would even make me feel less safe if I was worried about this whole terrorist thing. The whole way they are going about this shows that they haven't a clue what to do but want to do something anyway. It would be like someone getting struck by lightning once because of standing under a tree. Instead of learning your lesson: not standing under trees during lightning and getting on with their life; they try to find a way to make lightning not exist. A knee jerk and idiotic reaction. "Hooray for firemen! Scum of the earth as some may be in their daily lives, they can all be saints in emergencies. ...   [ ...reply just to this | comment on the story... | next new ]

20.  I wonder...   by zaydoun       at Thu 8 Aug 12:30am score of 1     ...what would happen if a little girl on board a plane dropped Barbie's blow-drier into her glass of water... Ziad http://kuwait-unplugged.com   [ ...reply just to this | comment on the story... | next new ]